VALENTUS. We give you the skinny on this allegedly ‘skinny’ coffee.

The Ugly Decaffeinated Truth



Most of us by now will have had the misfortune to encounter one or two of the Valentus crew.  Goals are being #smashed, promotions #nailed, babes being #boss.  Although allegedly in ‘pre-launch’, the product is out there and teams are growing at an enormous and frankly frightening & unsustainable rate.  So we thought it was time to take a good look at Valentus – at the company, the product and the compensation plan and to try to get to the truth behind the over-excited Facebook ‘lives’, the ‘Double Diamond’ promotions, the blurred-out bonuses and the TOTES AMAZEBALLS weight loss products.


Let’s start with the Company:


It launched in 2014 and the CEO is Dave Jordan, a network marketing veteran who has clearly honed his skills in a number of MLMs, usually moving on to the next just before companies have folded.  Timing is everything, people!  Dave is a expert in lead-generation and recruitment tactics, which is why it is hardly surprising that Valentus is all about recruitment.  Bots talk about Valentus being an ‘established, global business’ but facts about the real size & reach of the business seem pretty hard to find.



The Product:


The star in the Valentus universe is the Prevail SlimRoast Coffee.  It’s a coffee that you drink to make you lose weight.  Cards-on-the-table time: I loathe weight-loss gimmicks like this.  MLMs deliberately target the things most women are socially conditioned to want most of all: friendship, health, beauty and most of all, weight-loss.  Almost every MLM has some kind of weight-loss programme that they use as a hook.  These are generally unproven, short-term, unsustainable & unhealthy, both for the mind and for the body.  And yet we want to believe that just by sipping a cup of magic coffee every day we will miraculously turn into Kate Moss and be so much happier and more valued as a human being.  Anyone selling these kind of false promises and trading on the pressure women are already under to look thinner/younger/more beautiful deserves a special place in feminist hell.


Anyway, having got that off my chest, let’s look at the SlimRoast claims & reality.  Here’s the Valentus claim:


Formulated with natural appetite suppressants, feel good ingredients and detox components SlimROAST is a great addition to your weight management program. Not only will you find managing your weight with SlimROAST will produce exciting results, but you will love the taste of this delicious Italian dark roast coffee.


Now let’s turn to a qualified Nutritionist to debunk some of that.  It’s worth reading all of Abby Langer’s review as she tears the claims to shreds ( but here’s a few highlights:



Valentus SlimRoast has zero research proving it works. Testimonials don’t count.


SlimRoast contains mostly unproven ingredients that likely don’t work – together, or separately – to promote weight loss.


It’s pretty physiologically impossible to take a supplement and lose weight just from that, without any changes to your diet or activity. So testimonials that make that claim are probably not legit. I promise – when scientists find the magic ingredient that makes people lose weight while they sit on their ass, I’ll let you know. For now though – you’ll need to do the work. Sorry!


Compensation Package:


‘Eeeeeek!  It’s the best compensation package of any MLM EVER!’


Claims like this combined with blurred-out photos of allegedly ENORMOUS 5 & 6-figure incomes certainly implies that within a very short space of time you will be raking in the money.


Here’s the nasty truth.  Once again, it’s all about recruitment and about the bot being the customer.


  1. Success depends on bots committing to a monthly auto-shipment of product and in turn recruiting others to do likewise
  2. You cannot progress without signing up to automatically buy over £100 worth of product per month and building a team of other people doing likewise.
  3. You also get paid an additional commission bonus for every new member you sign up
  4. There is minimal information about retailing on the Valentus website and little reward for retailing in the compensation plan. It’s all about autoship and recruitment.


Massive red flags here: this emphasis on autoship/recruitment places Valentus on very rocky ground.  In fact, people have analysed the Valentus compensation structure and found it almost identical to Vemma’s – that’s right, the ‘Energy Drink’ MLM that was condemned as a pyramid scheme by the FTC because of its emphasis on recruitment/autoship.  Bar a small handful at the top, most affiliates lost money in Vemma.  Read this for more information on the Vemma case:




Stay away.  Don’t touch with a 10-foot pole.


This is a pyramid scheme with very little pretense to even try to dress it up with product & retail.  It’s growing rapidly in the UK right now but unless you are one of the top bots, you’ll be paying in your £100 per month and losing money (but not the promised weight!).


If you need proof that is a pyramid scheme, we have a recording of one of the top UK bots in a Facebook Live actually stating that you don’t need to sell product at all to succeed.  This is illegal.  This makes Valentus a full-on, undeniable pyramid scheme.  Like all such schemes, one of two things will happen:


  1. The authorities will catch up with Valentus, fine it and shut it down.
  2. The scheme will collapse.


Either of those end-games are bad news for 95% of scheme members.  They will lose their money.  And those at the top who are boasting about their wealth and recruiting more people in everyday are both immoral and –  in some cases – breaking the law.


We’re watching you, Valentus.


6 thoughts on “VALENTUS. We give you the skinny on this allegedly ‘skinny’ coffee.

    1. There is an amazing company out there, you just have to look for it. It’s always there, just people never take notice


  1. Its very hard to change a mind that has been brain washed. Its plain and simple its a pyramid scheme. But the brain washed people believe there all going to become rich from Valentus
    but in fact Valentus will drain them each month. Bernie Madoff would be very proud of Valentus.


  2. Firstly..thank you for YOUR insight and opinion…as in life we are all entitled to one.

    I have a question…what is a pyramid scheme? Would it be similar to a say church tithing? Where parishioners, (independent reps), give money in little white envelopes weekly, (autoship), with the promise of better times ahead for the church, ie: building improvements or helping out those in need, as long as everyone sticks together for the greater good….all the while we never really know what happens to the money..yet the minister is living high in the hog?? Or the bank president making way more then a teller could ever make? Is that what a pyramid is? Just checking.

    I don’t mind reading blogs/opinions as long as they are based on facts…all the facts…and not just a limited, ignorant, (which means lack of knowledge), ego boosting review.

    Yes Valentus is a MLM….part of the $178Billion dollar industry that exists today….bigger the the NFL or the Movie industry. MLM’s were created…(as were infomercials), get good products out to the consumers, at a reduced cost in marketing…in return paying bonuses to those that do so. Have there been bad MLM’s?..Yes…Have they been shut down? Yes…Has legislation been put in place to regulate and catch those that don’t abide by it? Yes.

    Bottom line is that not everyone will be in an MLM…but for those that are…be sure to do your homework…be a part of something that has good training…a good culture…a good comp plan…good products….good leadership…and heart. If is has these elements..then give it a try….but it is NetWORK Marketing…not get rich quick marketing. Unfortunately many listen to those who got in…did nothing…got out, and then bitched about it being a scam, when in reality they never even tried. It would be like going to University..getting a degree in teaching..then getting a job..but you’re late everyday to don’t teach your students…etc…and you get fired..then you go around bad mouthing not only your former employer, but the university where you graduated from as well…when in reality your success lied within your hands.

    Just because a friend or a family member decided to be part of an MLM and get excited about doing something different or better for themselves, and are passionate to want to share it..doesn’t make them an any less valuable member in your life….it’s called agreeing to disagree.

    Do you really write blogs about every person out there doing something you disagree with or just don’t understand? Wow..if you do…then I am sad for you…..It’s life, we can choose not follow people on FB or social media, if we really don’t like what they have to say…we can have an adult conversation with people about not wanting to have their mlm excitment be a part of the daily interactions they may have with you..there are lots of ways to deal with what you don’t like or understand…but bashing it on social media makes you a part of the problem and not the solutions.

    It really is not the end of the world if someone wants to go out and do something a little more, or different to earn some extra money and get ahead in life…as long as they are not truly hurting anyone…then I have to ask…”What is the big deal?”

    *just an FYI, in future please base your blogs on actual investigative facts and not just google searches…and please note, respectfully, you got a number of them incorrect in your above blog.

    Its not 3rd world problems it’s network marketing….Peace Out.😙


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